My fault
by konekobombay
Summary: Yohji contemplates the death of one he cared for. he seems to think it's his fault. slight shonen ai. deathfic.


1 My Fault  
  
Disclaimer: this thing is dumb but it's necessary, I don't own any of them. The idea however was mine.  
  
A/N: ok this is shonen ai, but very lightly so. Yohji x Omi I guess maybe Aya x Ken. It's pretty sad. Lotsa Yohji angst. Oh and it's from Yohji's POV. Here we go.  
  
The dark skies poor rain down on me as I stand in this empty graveyard. The water is weighing down the roses, gentians, cattleyas, and freesia. Every one else is home working in the shop. Only I am here now. I come here every day, my only way to apologize for something I can never forget, or make up for. I remember he always told me, "Not in the shop! It's bad for the flowers! Do it out side!" I never really listened, though I would comply for the moment. The very next day he'd be telling me the same thing again.  
  
I used to tell him, "It's my life chibi." I was wrong. I begin to cry, my tears joining the rain as I remember. You would think that he'd die on a mission or something, but no, the thing that took him away from me is not the evil we fight. It was me, I took him away, and I stole his life. Now it is counted among the others we took. It was my fault. It was cancer and, it was my fault.  
  
It started out a small, just asthma that's all, no big deal right? But it got worse. I stopped smoking then. But it was to late. He couldn't recover because apparently it contributed to something he already had. Something we didn't know about. He knew, but he never told us. Didn't want to burden us he said. I sit down and keep thinking, still crying.  
  
He had a type of brain cancer already; the asthma caused it to start growing faster, to progress more quickly. He still didn't tell us, even when he knew he was going to die. We finally got Manx to tell us, and then we confronted him. I flipped. I couldn't believe he never told me. Then out of nowhere he caught a little bug, just a cold, but it hospitalized him. He got better. He got to come home, we thought every thing was fine, he would get better.  
  
then one morning, about a week after we brought him home, ken when up stairs to wake him up. a few minutes latter he came running back down again, crying and yelling, "he's dead!(sob) he's dead…" I was up surprisingly early that morning, a thing that was becoming more common foe me. Aya went to ken to try and calm him down at the same time calling kritiker to get over there. I ran up the stairs and to his bed, falling to my knees beside him. I begged him not to go, not to die, but it was no use. He was gone.  
  
Now I sit here crying with the skies, remembering. It was my fault, they say it wasn't, that I didn't know. But I know the truth, it was my fault. He didn't have a problem until he got asthma. And he told me not to smoke in the shop, he told me it was bad for me, he told me… but I wouldn't listen. I was warned, I didn't listen, I never listened. That's why it's my fault. If I had have listened then he wouldn't have gotten asthma, the cancer wouldn't have progressed, and he would still be here. he never would've died. That's why it's my fault.  
  
The dark rain continues to poor around me, blending in with my tears. I stand and prepare to leave, I will return tomorrow, and again the day after that, and again the day after that, and every day, for as long as I can. I'll never forget, and I'll never be able to atone for this. it's my fault, all my fault. I'm sorry Omi.  
  
~Owarii~  
  
A/N: Of course I don't really think it's his fault. OK I know the whole cancer with the asthma causing its progression thing is probably a little far fetched but give me a break… I needed something. Shin says, "Write it!" and I says "ok I'm sorry, I'll do it."  
  
Shin muse: *cracks whip* work slave! Work! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
KoB: *sweat drop* my muse is cruel.  
  
Shin muse: you want writers block?  
  
KoB: no shin please! I'm sorry I take it back! Not the writers block please!  
  
Shin muse: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I win!  
  
KoB: ok well let me know what you think, did you like it? Did you not? R&R but please no flames I'm still sensitive to such things. Ja ne minna! 


End file.
